only sexy bitches sit on kitchen counters that’s the law
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me: how am i single
me: *emotionally detached, picky af, doesn’t go out at all, has disgusting habits, too shy to talk to anyone they find cute, etc.*
me: how am i single
I can’t afford boomerang so I have to do it myself
Isn’t boomerang like.. free?
She can’t afford it
I can’t afford it
“bastard” is no contest the funniest curse word
It somehow implies that the most hienous thing you’ve done is exist
im going to lose my fucking shit over this tweet nothing will ever live up to this
4800 players, Beethoven’s 9th Symphony Speedrun
its not even music anymore it’s just a shockwave that kills you instantly
Reblog if you want to be annihilated by the physics-defying supersonic Beethovenian explosion
Superman’s real superpower is finding white button up shirts opaque enough to hide a bright red, blue, & yellow Superman logo underneath without it showing through.
Keira Knightley when she’s offered projects that take place in modern day society
